There came a point in my life when I wanted to share what I had discovered in my own experience; that things that seem utterly fixed can change. Emotions, states, patterns and beliefs can transform. Possibility and hope can ease despair. Regardless of what we’ve done, how we see ourselves, or what has happened, we all have an unwounded, highly resourced, core self. If we have lost connection with it, as so many of us do, that connection can be regained. Understanding that our deepest hurts lead to our most problematic behaviours makes judgement meaningless to me. Once I had discovered my capacity for non-judgmental connection, and how crucial it is for all of us, I felt I had to use it.
I recognise that we have different parts with different needs. While all parts of us need compassion, genuine interest, and acceptance, some also need particular kinds of attention and assistance. Some need a quiet attentive witness, some need a guide, some need a new perspective. Using a range of approaches allows me to understand and attend to the many and varied needs within each person. We also have our own ways of experiencing and expressing ourselves. You might be very aware of your thoughts and mind activity, of emotions and felt-senses, or physical effects in your body, or all of these. An integrative approach allows for all of these to be included in the conversation.
My aim in every session is for you to feel safe to explore what might have been challenging to talk about, or even think about. Our most problematic feelings, such as shame, guilt, and self-loathing often have the most impact in our lives and yet can be the most difficult to deal with alone. You will probably have noticed that trying to push them away, or ignoring them, doesn’t work. I help you to discover ways to gently turn towards any parts of yourself you may be confused about, dislike, or are scared of. You can discover that not only can you become aware of these aspects of yourself but can often find out where they came from, why they do what they do, and what they need. The right kind of attention brings change. We can reflect on what is happening in your life, what triggers your feelings, and how events are affecting you, and I will also invite you to explore your inner world in ways that feel safe and right for you. If drawing, writing, expressing through images and metaphor are helpful to you, I can provide ways of using these. Whether you favour talking or creative expression or a combination of both, we will be engaged in a conversation and a collaboration with your wellbeing as the focus.
Successfully completing my training, first in integrative psychotherapy, then in Internal Family Systems therapy. Both were challenging and intense, but deeply rewarding. Working in some very busy organisations as a therapist. The constraints can be frustrating, but I learned a huge amount and am very grateful for the depth and range of experience given to me by all the wonderful clients I’ve worked with in these posts. Shifting to providing sessions by video call due to the pandemic; getting past my assumptions about what that would be like and being delighted to discover my connection with clients was still there!